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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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The God That Bailed

As part of the Big Pink health plan, we continue to monitor the fever levels of Hopium Guzzlers with thermometers stuck firmly in their recta.

First up – Andrew Sullivan, the one who thought Obama’s “face” was sufficient to bring about a golden age of “new politics”. Sullivan’s Obama Delusion was at a [...]

Turkeys For Thanksgiving

According to Ben Franklin the turkey is a “respectable” bird. We’ll ignore the sage Dr. Franklin to take note of some people “turkeys”.

We won’t focus on Barack Obama who has shattered the “Spending Record For First-Year” boobery and who was caught “clutching” a GQ magazine “featuring himself”.

There are a lot [...]

Barack Obama Is The Enemy Of Health Care Reform, Part II

Obama is and always has been the enemy of health care reform. Obama Dimocrats and Big Media sycophants refuse to accept, let alone publish that fact, so they are now in a tizzy about Democracy.

Obama sycophant Ezra Klein is bemoaning the rising ocean of opposition to Obama and his alleged health care “plan” (which [...]

Governor Sarah Palin Makes Her Moves – Is Hillary Clinton Next?

Independence Day is officially tomorrow but Sarah Palin decided to celebrate one day early.

Is Hillary Clinton next?

* * * * *

Hillary Clinton

We did not think Hillary Clinton should have anything to do with Obama and should remain a U.S. Senator. We knew however that Hillary had all the facts and deserved respect. [...]

Disgusting And Extreme: NutKooks And Big Media Post-Election

In short, post-election we are getting Big Media futile confessions and NutKooks carping.

The latest, and surely not last, Big Media confession of pro-B.O. bias comes from Mark Halperin of Time Magazine:

Media bias was more intense in the 2008 election than in any other national campaign in recent history, Time magazine’s Mark Halperin said Friday at [...]

Meet The Hypocrites

Obama supporters are all atwitter. Now they really hate Big Pink. Apparently Obama supporters and those wishing to ingratiate themselves to those incense burners are unhappy with our show of great restraint and politeness yesterday.

Yesterday, as we were ready to hit the “publish” button on our essential Rezko article (which we will [...]

La Borinquena Hillary Clinton

It will be a glorious day in August when we walk with Hillary Clinton into the Democratic convention. We will walk into the Democratic convention with the full, (no backroom deals) elected Florida and Michigan delegations, and air out the smell of incense from the hall.

What a glorious day that will be. [...]

Deck ‘Em

We recently made the argument that MSNBC and NBC are already at war with the Hillary Clinton campaign and therefore Hillary should NOT participlate in NBC or MSNBC debates. NBC and MSNBC are particularly bad with regards to pushing anti-Hillary broadcasts but they are not alone.

Consider how Big Media is protecting Obama. [...]

Hillary Clinton Fights For Florida

[South Carolina votes today. We'll cover the primary in South Carolina when the polls close. Jesse Jackson received 64% of the vote in South Carolina in 1988. Will Obama get less than 64% of the vote? We'll know tonight.]

* * *

It is a constant source of amazement how [...]

Our Lonely Days Are Over

For a long time Big Pink was a lonely, little, squeaky, demure, bird voice, chirping “rezko, rezko”. There is now a harmonious choir of full-thoated voices singing along “REZKO, REZKO.”

We always think of ourselves as a public service and especially a service to true Democrats everywhere.

Indeed, our first of many articles regarding REZKO, when no [...]