Scum — Hillary Is 44

The Funnies

See Our Funnies Archive.

February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

Depressed Democratic Hillary Supporters

Update: Read “Pink Grenades” at PUMA P.A.C.

And Roseanne Barr, has a Big Pink smile and an “I told You so” about Hillary (which reads at times word-for-word like a certain Big Pink website).

when the dems screwed Hillary, they screwed america out of health care and out of jobs. I knew it. I [...]

Arrogance! Incompetence! Corruption!: Election 2006 And Dimocrat Obama's Culture Of Corruption Election 2010, Part I

Update: Regarding David Paterson and Eric Massa, we are not excusing the conduct of either of them. However, as we wrote before about David Paterson, these are Obama thug drive-by shootings. Paterson and Eric Massa both fit into the pattern of Obama using sex related stories to destroy opponents (such as Blair [...]

Hillary Clinton 2012, Part II - It's The Economy, Stupid!

America is placing a 911 call to Hillary Clinton. We know it’s time to sober up. It’s time to put away the Hopium, the wine and the roses. It’s time for Americans to send Obama cartons of cigarettes – he’s fired up and ready to go – go away.

As we noted yesterday, [...]

Hillary Clinton 2012, Part I - The Hillary Message

Elect a boob, expect boobery. This time, “Try Experience – For A Real Change.”

After George W. and Barack Obama, experience might finally come back in vogue on the presidential candidate resumé. Experience could be the Hillary Clinton 2012 campaign theme yet again. But there is a deadly Barack Obama caused problem, [...]

Death To Big Media

Big Media deserves a punishing death as miserable as Dimocratic death is deserved this November. For both, Death appears to be sharpening the scythe. As noted yesterday, Keith Olbermann is close to a well deserved demise. Doom, Death, and Destruction cannot come too soon for these creeps as far as we are [...]

The Democratic Civil War - One Side Must Die

We are not making Joe Stack style, lucid death threats today. We are making a political analysis of what must happen politically.

On Memorial Day 2008 we wrote that the “Democratic Party is now engaged in the opening battles of a Civil War. As in the 1860s this war cannot be avoided.” [...]

A Warning To Supporters Of Sarah Palin, Canada Hillary Clinton And The Tea Party Movement - As Well As Arriana Huffington

The “Divide and Conquer” ploy emerged yesterday as a stratagem to destroy the NObama Coalition. Yesterday, Big Media waved the red flag of Hillary Hate and Sarah Palin Hate to incite a “cat fight”. Some Republicans and conservatives fell for the Big Media ploy and reverted instantly to Hillary Hate. We can’t [...]

Terror Trials And Lobbyists And Mulligans

In a way this is a follow-up, a Part II, to our “Mulligan Man” article from January 22, 2009. After a major piece of boobery, Obama usually tries for a “mulligan” (a do-over in golf terms). This past week the major acts of boobery came by the bushel and Obama wanted a mulligan [...]

Chicago - Giannoulias and Obama's Mob

Put on your toxin resistant black rubber gloves and your waist high mud boots. We’ll quote today from websites deep into Obama love. If you thought the Massachusetts senate election was a disaster, we have one word, one name: Chicago.

* * * * *

From Business Week:

Banking Past Haunts Obama Friend [...]

Mark Halperin’s Book – Harry Reid’s Negro Macaca, Barack Obama’s War On Hillary Clinton, Part III

Supposedly alone and “racist”, Bill Clinton, as the envoy to Haiti will soon be in the forefront of rescue for the predominately black people devastated by the massive earthquake in Haiti.

Supposedly alone, in her crazed bitterness, spouting obscenities, discombobulated, womanish ways, Hillary Clinton answered another 3 a.m. emergency call. Of course Hillary was qualified [...]

Hillary Highlights 2009

February 17, 2009

Sojourner Truth was an extraordinary American hero, and thanks to the work of Hillary Clinton in the Senate and Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee in the House, Sojourner will finally be recognized with a statue in the Capitol -- the first African American woman to be so honored!

Born into slavery as one of the youngest of thirteen children of James and Elizabeth in Ulster County, New York, in 1797, Sojourner Truth’s given name was Isabella Baumfree. As almost all of her brothers and sisters had been sold to other slave owners, some of her earliest memories were of her parents’ stories of the cruel loss of their other children. [snip]

In 1843, she changed her name to Sojourner Truth – her name for a traveling preacher, one who speaks the truth – and left New York. She traveled throughout New England, where she met and worked with abolitionists such as William Lloyd Garrison, and Frederick Douglass. Her life story, The Narrative of Sojourner Truth: A Northern Slave, written with the help of friend Olive Gilbert, was published in 1850.

While traveling and speaking in states across the country, Sojourner Truth met many women abolitionists and noticed that although women could be part of the leadership in the abolitionist movement, they could neither vote nor hold public office. It was this realization that led Sojourner to become an outspoken supporter of women’s rights.

In 1851, she addressed the Women’s Rights Convention in Akron, Ohio, delivering her famous speech “Ain’t I a Woman?” The applause she received that day has been described as “deafening.” From that time on, she became known as a leading advocate for the rights of women. She became one of the nineteenth century’s most eloquent voices for the cause of anti-slavery and women’s rights.

February 1, 2009

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the President of Gays & Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies met with each other on Friday, along with other heads of affinity groups from the State Department, during which time Clinton again voiced her pledge to review the inequities in how the State Department treats its gay and straight employees.
Michelle Schohn, president of Gays & Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies, raised the issue of how the department treats its gay employees during the brief meeting, and Clinton again promised to review current policies. Schohn stated: “It was an overwhelmingly positive meeting. There wasn’t a lot of time to talk with her because she was meeting with all the affinity groups, so we each got a tiny chunk of time to be able to say something to her.”

January 29, 2009

NOLimits.org - Because we want to stay connected with the wonderful people we met and worked with all over the country in the last two years.

Because we want to share our ideas and experiences, our common goals, and nonpartisan solutions to the challenges that we face - and there are no limits to what we can achieve when we do.

And because we want to keep working for a better future for every child, from every family – a world in which no limits is not just our goal, but a reality!

January 28, 2009

Hillary Clinton's campaign days may be behind her, but those still carrying a torch for her ideas - and perhaps for an electoral comeback someday - have a new home on the Internet.

NoLimits.org will "keep you up to date with news about issues on which Hillary took a lead and we know you care so much about," group President Ann Lewis said in an e-mail to as many as 2 million people culled from the Clinton campaign database.

Because No Limits is a registered nonprofit, "it cannot do anything political. It has to be nonpartisan," said Lewis, a longtime senior adviser to Clinton.

In Clinton's job as secretary of state for President Obama, her political dealings are highly restricted.

For example, she shut down her political action committee.

Some, like Democratic consultant and former Bill Clinton aide Chris Lehane, dismiss talk that the group could be a springboard for Clinton to try again for the White House in, say, 2016.

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar," Lehane said. "I think this is just [a] group of folks who developed relationships in an intense [electoral] environment and want to stay together."

But the University of Virginia's Larry Sabato countered: "Whenever a group like this says it's not a political organization, you just know it is."

"Maybe [this] is Hillary's answer to Obama's new 'change' group that controls his golden mailing list. Maybe it's a way for Secretary of State Clinton to mobilize backing for her objectives at the State Department," he said. "And maybe [it's] a standby committee of supporters in case Hillary decides to get back into elective politics."

Democratic consultant Hank Sheinkopf said NoLimits.org is "one way to make sure that she - and/or the former President - still have political leverage."

Hillary World-Wide January 26, 2009

Secretary of State Hillary R. Clinton Meets Afghan Women Lawyers. Secretary of State Hillary R. Clinton met today at the State Department with fourteen prominent Afghan women judges, prosecutors, and defense attorneys. These jurists were in Washington to participate in a training program arranged by the Department’s Public-Private Partnership for Justice Reform in Afghanistan. Secretary Clinton told them: "Your American friends greatly admire your bravery and courage. It is your work in the tough environment of Afghanistan for women lawyers that will bring real reform and the rule of law to the Afghan people. As President Obama made clear yesterday in his first foreign policy announcement, we are committed to supporting your efforts to bring security and stability to your country."

Hillary World-Wide January 24, 2009

Newly confirmed Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton has long had an interest in UFOs and the existence of extraterrestrial life. She was given an informal briefing in August 1995 by billionaire philanthropist Laurence Rockefeller, on the best available UFO evidence. An August 4, 1995, memo by President Clinton's Science Advisor, Dr Jack Gibbons, confirmed that the Clintons would be vacationing with Rockefeller at his Teton Ranch in Wyoming that summer, and they would discuss UFOs:

January 15, 2009

A 28 page pdf of Hillary Clinton’s accomplishments in the Senate called “Senator Clinton: Champion For New York".

The Table of Contents:

Standing up for New York after 9/11

Creating Economic Opportunity

Meeting Our Responsibility to Servicemembers and Veterans

Driving Change in Health Care

Standing Up for Women’s Health

Advocating for Children and Families

Leading the Way to a New Energy Future

Addressing Infrastructure Challenges

New York by Region

Senator Clinton By the Numbers

Timeline

Click Here For Hillary Headlines Archives

Archives:

Text Search:

Visit Our Pages:

Categories:

Get a Hillary Is 44 button! Here's How:

Get a Hillary Is 44 T-Shirt! Here's How:

Suscribe To Our RSS Feed