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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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The Obama Cult At Demon Pass

The Obama Hell’s Gate cult is at Demon Pass. The Harmful Narcissist from corrupt Chicago sells his massive transfer of wealth from the American taxpayer to Big Insurance and Big PhaRma as a “Save Me” scheme.

The “Save Me and vote for my health scam” plea from Barack Obama will doom Dimocrats and loot Medicare. [...]

Waterloo And Copenhagen - Obama's Hump Day Health Scam Vacation Hell

If he goes, there will be trouble. If he stays there will be double. Should he stay or should he go?

We say “Go! – away, permanently.” It’s either Waterloo or Copenhagen, probably both.

(1) Americans say “Go!” too – for the first time the boob’s job approval number is [...]

Arrogance! Incompetence! Corruption! Cowardice! - We Have Met The Enemy

Corruption breeds corruption. After years of inbred corruption, Americans are witnessing the full flower of corruption.

In 2005 Republicans oozed out their own version of this year’s “Slaughter Rule”. Nancy Pelousy, Henry Waxman, and Louise Slaughter herself went to court to oppose the ugly Republican contrivance utilized to pass a raise in the debt [...]

Health Care Copenhagen And Waterloo

Update: Another demographic is writing him off.

The New York Times sticks with the Mess-iah for Festivus Easter.

But, when you lose Alfred….

—————————————————————————————-

Did everybody but us forget about Obama’s bluff and buffoonery on Copenhagen? Does everyone but us fail to apply the lessons of Copenhagen to the health care debate and [...]

A Little Touch Of Hillary Clinton In The Night

Americans really needed universal health care. Instead we got a Pelousy bill which transfers taxpayer wealth to Big Insurance and Big PhaRma. Things continue to fall apart. So, as a pick-me-up, it’s time for a little bit of Hillary in the night.

Before Hillary, let’s get some unpleasant Obamaish business out of the [...]

Massa Matters – Arrogance! Incompetence! Corruption!: Election 2006 And Dimocrat Obama’s Culture Of Corruption Election 2010, Part III

Eric Massa is the Mark Foley of 2010. In 2006 the Mark Foley scandal clued in Americans who were not paying attention that something was dreadfully wrong in the Republican run congress. In 2010 it is Eric Massa who clues in Americans not paying much attention that something is dreadfully wrong in the [...]

Depressed Democratic Hillary Supporters

Update: Read “Pink Grenades” at PUMA P.A.C.

And Roseanne Barr, has a Big Pink smile and an “I told You so” about Hillary (which reads at times word-for-word like a certain Big Pink website).

when the dems screwed Hillary, they screwed america out of health care and out of jobs. I knew it. I [...]

Naked Politics - Rahm Emanuel Pokes Eric Massa Who Runs To Glenn Beck

The Mark Foley Sex Scandals of Election 2006 finished off Republican chances in that year’s election. We began to explain what happened in election 2006 in the article Arrogance! Incompetence! Corruption!: Election 2006 And Dimocrat Obama’s Culture Of Corruption Election 2010, Part I. It was arrogance at the heart of the Republican problems [...]

The Eric Massa Edition - Arrogance! Incompetence! Corruption!: Election 2006 And Dimocrat Obama's Culture Of Corruption Election 2010, Part II

Update: “Articulate” Barack Obama can’t “sell watermelons” says Dan Rather on racist NBC [audio here].

Eric Massa on Glenn Beck show for the full hour tomorrow. On Larry King show too, tomorrow.

More Eric Massa quotes (from the interview video, below):

23:23 “I’ve had union leaders tell me point blank ‘we are not going to contribute to [...]

Arrogance! Incompetence! Corruption!: Election 2006 And Dimocrat Obama's Culture Of Corruption Election 2010, Part I

Update: Regarding David Paterson and Eric Massa, we are not excusing the conduct of either of them. However, as we wrote before about David Paterson, these are Obama thug drive-by shootings. Paterson and Eric Massa both fit into the pattern of Obama using sex related stories to destroy opponents (such as Blair [...]