Four o’clock beauties! Know what a four o’clock beauty is? A four o’clock beauty is that ugly person at the bar no one would take home while sober. But as midnight passes to near four o’clock in the morning, as the late night dive bar bartender declares “last call”, that ugly person from before midnight magically transforms into a four o’clock beauty.
As the bar is about to close the four o’clock beauties sometimes get together to bump uglies. It never ends well. But after a long drunken night judgement is fogged and stupid things happen. The bar with four o’clock beauties can be in places where bars close at 10:00, at midnight, at 2:00 in the morning, or at 4 in the morning. This weekend we political barflies saw two four o’clock beauties get together as time ran out. The four o’clock beauties will bump uglies. It won’t end well.
This weekend we saw Kamikaze Cruz bump ugly with John Kasich. As we will show, already it has not gone well.
Kamikaze Cruz, the suicide bomber, and John Kasich became bed-mates out of desperation. It’s late in the morning and the sun is about to shine on Donald J. Trump.
One would think that Kamikaze Cruz and John Kasich would have kept their ugly liaison secret. But they could not stay silent. Why? Well, most importantly, the reason why Kamikaze Cruz and John Kasich made their alliance a very public affair is that they both needed to communicate their unholy marriage to their respective Super-Pacs. So in order that their Super-PACs could be communicated with to stop attacks on each other, Kamikaze Cruz and John Kasich had to make their repellent intercourse a matter of public discussion.
Almost immediately the Cruz/Kasich abomination fell apart:
Cruz-Kasich pact shows signs of strain
The Ohio governor refuses to tell his supporters to vote for Cruz, while Trump gleefully mocks his rivals.
The alliance between Ted Cruz and John Kasich got off to a rocky start on Monday, with the Ohio governor immediately undermining the pact and Cruz getting assailed by tough questions as he tried to pitch the deal as the best way to deny Donald Trump the GOP nomination.
Trump was all too happy to pounce. [snip]
Nearly two months after Mitt Romney called for such a strategy, Cruz and Kasich separately announced late Sunday night that they would be dividing up some of the upcoming contests in a bid to deny Trump the 1,237 delegates he needs to win the nomination outright.
The pact entails the Ohio governor ceding Indiana’s May 3 primary to his Texan rival while Cruz stands down in New Mexico and Oregon. The math roughly works: Both New Mexico and Oregon award their 24 and 28 delegates proportionally, on June 7 and May 17, respectively, while Indiana’s 57 delegates are winner-take-all by district and statewide.
But it also plays right into Trump’s narrative and he immediately blasted his opponents’ “collusion” to underscore his core argument: The Republican establishment is corrupt and is rigging the system against the will of the voters.
It didn’t help that Kasich doesn’t seem fully on board.
“I’ve never told them not to vote for me; they should vote for me,” Kasich said about Indiana during a prickly exchange with reporters at a Philadelphia diner.
“I’m not over there campaigning and spending resources. We have limited resources,” he continued. “Mine is like the people’s campaign. I have a campaign where, you know, we’ve been outspent basically 50-to-1. You folks have been counting me out before I even got to New Hampshire. And now we can’t jam all of you into this diner. I mean, everybody chill out.”
Kasich’s chief strategist John Weaver quickly clarified the sentiment in a tweet, writing, “We’re not telling voters who to vote for in IN, only where we are going to spend resources to ultimately defeat Hillary. They get it.”
Trump seized on the comments from Kasich hours later.
“Kasich just announced that he wants the people of Indiana to vote for him,” Trump tweeted. “Typical politician — can’t make a deal work.”
Cruz campaign manager Jeff Roe and Weaver touched base in person while attending last week’s Republican National Committee spring meeting in Hollywood, Florida, and agreed to stay in touch, according to three sources briefed on the exchange. On Friday, they spoke by phone and agreed to make something happen — and that same day, Cruz aides were informed that a negotiation was in the works. A day later, they reached an agreement about a specific plan of action. At no point did Cruz or Kasich talk with each other about a prospective deal.
John Kasich was not the first to stab in the back. Earlier, Kamikaze Cruz the failed suicide bomber stabbed Kasich in the back first. Cruz, in a secret memo, urged his campaign team to get him votes in all the states he had supposedly ceded to Kasich. To top his treachery with a cherry, Cruz then mocked his fellow four o’clock beauty John Kasich as a sure loser. These “last call” booty calls never end well.
— #TrumpStrong (@DebAlwaystrump) April 25, 2016
Four o’clock beauties Cruz and Kasich mated in a most foul nest because it is all over, the last bar has closed:
Trump adviser Barry Bennett mocked the agreement in an interview with CNN, calling it a “desperate act,” “bad strategy,” “bad theater,” “stupid deal” and “really pathetic.”
The new Cruz-Kasich pact is also a tacit admission that neither man can catch Trump before the Republican National Convention convenes in July. Cruz, once scornful of the “fantasy” of a contested convention, now openly admits that his only shot at the nomination entails beating Trump on a second or subsequent ballot in Cleveland. Kasich, as recently as last month, was dismissive of an alliance with Cruz, asking rhetorically, “At the end of the day, how do you tell your people that are for you to go vote for somebody else?” [snip]
“They are mathematically dead and this act only shows, as puppets of donors and special interests, how truly weak they and their campaigns are,” Trump said, noting his large and growing lead. Thanks to his campaign, he concluded, “everyone now sees that the Republican primary system is totally rigged.”
As we noted, Cruz and Kasich needed to make their bed of whores marriage public in order to communicate their passions to their Super-Pacs. It was also desperation that drove the two well plowed whores to declare their marriage of convenience before the vote on Tuesday which Donald J. Trump is sure to massively win. Couldn’t they have waited?
Picture it. The two whores get together in their lumpy marriage mattress and let everyone know of their diseased estate even as Donald J. Trump is about to score big wins in five states! Why didn’t the two whores wait to reveal their union? Because they didn’t wait Cruz and Kasich will now see the headlines on Wednesday to be a declaration of Trump’s multi-state victories and the failure of the Cruz and Kasich union.
On Tuesday Donald J. Trump will win big. The latest polls show Trump will clobber Cruz and Kasich on Tuesday. In many if not all the states that vote on Tuesday, Trump will win over 50% of the vote. In Connecticut and Rhode Island, Trump might top 60% or come darn close.
Kamikaze Cruz and John Kasich will not stop Trump. It’s all over but the counting.