The Heidi-Ho man is back looking for his Heidi-ho. We’re here to bed some rumors and wonder about some others.
We’re too, much too, high-minded, to disgrace ourselves with sex, rumors, particularly of the political kind. But here we are. We know one thing that is not true – about where Ted Cruz silos his missile – that has him in crisis. We know another thing that cannot possibly be true about Lyin’ Ted Cruz and the mistress distress. But first, because we do not want to get in the mud, we’ll quote HotGas which has a good summary of the Cruz Missile Crisis (a.k.a. The Cuban Mistress Crisis):
So #TheThing, also known as the Cruz Sex Scandal, that the Rubio and Jeb people were pushing on Twitter for the last few weeks before Florida, looks like it may have finally dropped. If you hadn’t already seen it, National Enquirer has a new story out relating the claim that Ted Cruz had an affair with at least five different women.
National Enquirer is the same organization that broke the John Edwards affair and love child that ended his campaign. They also were the ones that, correctly, discredited much of OJ Simpson’s claims during the murder trial. They also were right on Rush Limbaugh’s addiction to pain killers, Jesse Jackson’s love child with his mistress. Tiger Wood’s affairs, and Steve Job’s condition.
So what do we know, believe, to be absolutely untrue about the Cruz manned missile crisis? What is absolutely untrue about the Cruz Sex Scandal is that Donald J. Trump had anything to do with it. As has been repeatedly proved, the Sex Scandal attack against Ted Cruz, exposing the slimy side of Teddy Boy, allegedly, came from Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio.
Get that fact straight because it is very pertinent to our next article: the authors of the Ted Cruz Sex Scandal are Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio (and of course, if true, Ted Cruz and his wandering missile).
Trump hater and Marco Rubio supporter Rick Wilson (the guy along with Liz Mair that run an hate-Trump SuperPac that attacked Melania Trump) first “tweeted” about #TheThing on March 10. Also, as well documented at HotGas, on March 11 Rick Wilson wrote
If I had #TheThing, I’d release it. Trust me, after 20 reporter calls today, I’m DONE
What was #TheThing?:
Secret Cruz sex scandal talk circulated on Twitter for weeks under THIS mysterious hashtag
Before the rumors and allegations were made public in a scorching piece against Texas Sen. Ted Cruz for allegedly having five extramarital affairs, the accusations laid in hiding under a mysterious hashtag on Twitter.
For weeks leading up to the National Enquirer report out Friday, which claims Cruz had sexual relations with five former co-workers and political insiders, supporters of Sen. Marco Rubio and “#NeverTrump” promoters on social media discussed “#TheThing,” as the Cruz allegation was dubbed by insiders.
#TheThing was supposed to “drop”, be published, before the Florida primary by Marco Rubio to destroy Teddy Boy Cruz. Perhaps that explains why Cruz, um, pulled out, of Florida shortly after Cruz made a great show of the ten offices he opened throughout Florida. Maybe once Cruz pulled out, Rubio decided that the better part of discretion for himself, was not to start throwing stones from his glass house, especially after that Jeb Bush planted story about the Rubio arrest at that park became known.
#TheThing was a Rubio hit against fellow Cuban, Lyin’ Ted Cruz.
Ted Cruz wants to blame Donald J. Trump and has done so in a mendacious “tweet” that blames Trump and attempts a quick “denial”. The “denial” tied to the false blame-shifting to Trump makes the denial dubious. Lyin’ Ted is telling at least one lie, maybe two, in his “denial”.
Why do we give Lyin’ Ted Cruz the benefit of the doubt by allowing for the possibility that Ted Cruz might not have planted his Cuban missile in extra-marital, places? We allow for the possibility that Lyin’ Ted Cruz might not have repeatedly launched his missile, as the National Enquirer alleges, because, well, really, only one reason? Who would want that toad?
It cannot possibly be true that Lyin’ Ted Cruz had mistresses. Ted Cruz with many women desiring him would undermine our sense of reality. It would undermine our understanding of sexual attraction. It would undermine our concept of sanity. It would undermine everything we suspect we know about this world. And yet, to our utter shock, Ted Cruz did find one woman in this planet to publicly acknowledge carnal knowledge of Ted Cruz.
That woman is Heidi Cruz, the spouse of the louse.
In January we wrote about Heidi Ho in a non-sex scandal article. Our Heidi Ho article was written in a most appropriate manner as we discussed certain of her ties and most importantly the ties of Ted Cruz:
Today we expected to write a smart little thing about the destruction of Ted Cruz via the DemDebate this past Sunday. Consider, at the Dem Debate Bernie Sanders attacked Hillary Clinton for the hundreds of thousands of dollars in speaking fees Hillary was paid by Goldman Sachs.
Before Sunday the Goldman Sachs attack spear was thrown against Ted Cruz at the GOP Debate. At the GOP Debate Donald Trump schlonged Cruz because of the million dollar loan obtained from Goldman Sachs by Mr. and Mrs. Cruz – so that Ted could fund his senate campaign. The additional crouton in this Goldman Sachs soup was the fact that Ted Cruz’s wife Heidi Cruz made her living strolling the halls of Goldman Sachs for pay. It didn’t take long before some nasty wags tongued out the epithet/cry “Heidi Ho”. For shame!
The very smart Heidi Cruz deserves respect even if she has, well, um, New York Values. She’s a smart woman, investment manager, but when did that stop anyone from smearing a talented smart woman? [snip]
As Darth Vader once said, “impressive, most impressive.” An incredibly talented woman with the grandest of commercial New York Values.
Ours was to be an excruciatingly proper discussion of how Hillary Clinton’s Goldman Sachs connections both helped and hurt her and that Ted Cruz and Heidi Cruz were about to experience a proctology examination the likes of which Hillary Clinton has endured for many a day.
The proctologist has arrived.
Trump spokeswoman Katrina Pierson, alleged to be one of the Cruz mistresses, spoke to MSNBC before #TheThing dropped and explained what Trump meant when he said he could “spill the beans” about Heidi:
“She is a Bush operative, she worked for the architect of NAFTA, which has killed millions of jobs in this country, she was a member on the Council on Foreign Relations who in Sen. Cruz’s own words called a nest of snakes that seeks to undermine national sovereignty and she’s been working for Goldman Sachs, the same global bank that Ted Cruz left off of his financial disclosure,” Pierson said.
“Her entire career has been spent working against everything Ted Cruz says that he stands for,” she added.
When Donald Trump threatened to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz it was in response to the Rick Wilson SuperPac attack against Melania Trump. Today, Donald J. Trump responded to the Lyin’ Ted Cruz lies that Trump had anything to do with the Cruz Missile Sex Attack with a complete denial as only Trump can:
I have no idea whether or not the cover story about Ted Cruz in this week’s issue of the National Enquirer is true or not, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it, did not know about it, and have not, as yet, read it.
Likewise, I have nothing to do with the National Enquirer and unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence. Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz.
I look forward to spending the week in Wisconsin, winning the Republican nomination and ultimately the Presidency in order to Make America Great Again.
There’s a lot more to this story. Much of it “substantive” not about Cruz missiles and silos. Our comments section no doubt will continue to do radar work on Cruz missiles. Our next article will explain a bit more about Teddy Boy Cruz and what he’s up to in a down low way.