Update: Open thread: Senior citizens set for evening of fun in Las Vegas along with us will be one of the few watching tonight. CNN Democratic Debate: Watch live and join our liveblog will be another pair of eyeballs. That’s 4 eyeballs besides ours. The debate will be on CNN and the live stream is HERE. Of course, Real Donald Trump adds a few eyeballs too.
The dunderheads in Brooklyn who still deny Obama hates Hillary should read the latest “Obama furious at Hillary” article. The Hillary2016 brilliant minds might ask themselves why today, of all days, does the Obama campaign memo from 2008 “How to beat Hillary Clinton” is published for all to read? Wanna guess geniuses?
Hillary Clinton should show up at tonight’s dum dem debate with a bottle of Bourbon, a bucket of ice cubes, and a clinky clinky glass, pouring Bourbon on ice down her throat all night. Our ideal Hillary debate night would be a combination of Neely O’Hara, Liz Taylor, and the Angela Bassett witch role from American Horror Story.
That’s what Hillary Clinton should do. Call that dog Saint Bernard a goddamned Socialist and list all the crimes and horrors committed in the name of socialism – as well as defend capitalism. Tell Martin O’Malley to go back to Baltimore and kill himself some more blacks. Walk up to Lincoln Chaffee and hit him over the head with the Bourbon bottle hard enough to send him to the hospital. Slap Anderson Cooper in the face when he laughs as Chaffee slumps to the floor. Pull Jim Webb by the hair, give him a wet sloppy kiss, spit some Bourbon on his face, grab his crotch, and tell him to go home.
Hillary should then turn to the cameras and curse, in close-up, the Obama Dimocrat Party and tell them “I don’t need you losers. Go Fuk yourselves you pigs. I don’t need any of you. You need me. Go fuc yourselves you miserable low down losers and go straight to Hell. Go straight to Hell with Medusa Obama and her skinny stinky beanpole Barack and fuk them too”
That won’t happen. It’s too real. It’s too honest. It won’t happen. We can picture Donald Trump getting that real. But Hillary wants to lose.
Hillary probably doesn’t even know she wants to lose. But she does.
If Hillary doesn’t want to lose we will see that tonight. She will fight. And we don’t mean silly attacks against Trump or Republicans. This is a primary fight. Hillary’s opponents are Barack Obama and the clowns on stage. Hillary needs to state clearly that her vision (the one from 2008, not the silly one from this year) is the best vision for America and make it clear that the losers on stage near her are not fit to lick her heels let alone fit into her shoes.
If Bernie Sanders, Martin O’Malley, Jim Webb, and Lincoln Chaffee don’t want to lose we’ll see that tonight too. They’ll make their case strongly and point out Hillary’s phony positions and moves to the kook left this year.
From Hillary tonight we expect mush posed as a fight. Hillary will be very good using a lot of words to say nothing. Hillary will not discuss Goldfinger and Putin nor Pussy Galore and Obama. The latest world-wide disasters authored by Barack Obama will be ignored or mushed over. Hillary will not denounce the wrong track the country is on, as Americans see it, nor will Hillary lay the problems at the lap of Barack Obama. As in 2008 Hillary will “win” and still be the best g_ddammned candidate on that stage bar none, but that won’t be enough to save her.
From Bernie Sanders we will see a gravitational pull to the extreme left. From Jim Webb we will see a pull to the center. From Martin O’Malley there will be Baltimore style death threats. From Lincoln Chaffee, the loser of all losers with nothing to lose, regurgitated Barack Obama circa 2008. In short, all will attack Hillary. It will be attack upon attack upon attack against Hillary Clinton. The attacks based on Hillary’s positions this crummy year juxtaposed to her positions in 2008 will be too painful to watch.
As to Joe Biden and his threat to Hillary2016? The ghostly presence of Mourning Joe as he surfs the short lived wave of popularity on the coffin of his dead Beau will be as comical as Barack Obama’s 2008 exploitation of his dead skanky mother and failing granny.
The biggest ghost tonight however will be Donald Trump live from the Twitterverse. In 2008 at the height of the Hillary Clinton versus Boob Obama battle the top two debates garnered about 8 million viewers. In 2015 The Donald’s debates got about 50 million eyeballs per debate. Add to that the drama of baseball tonight and the eyeballs will roll elsewhere. Donald Trump said the dem debate will be a bore and joked the reason will be he is not there:
Trump then did what Trump does best: trump. Now Trump has announced he will livetweet the debate:
We’ll tweet along with Trump and comment along with the valiant few not watching silly baseball and instead focused on this horserace. We can already smell the manure.