We’ve been cackling so hard the office has filled up with eggs. Our non-stop egg-laying cackles are attributable to the latest antics of one Donald J. Trump and his startling truth shenanigans. Before we proceed could we ask for an end to the violence? Please, stop the violence! We refer to the boy who wears his makeup well and that boy who keeps losing his lunch money. Yes, we mean Marco Rubio and Jebbie Downer Bush.
Because we are so non-violent we must take another moment to compose ourselves and re-start with a reprimand to Donald Trump: Dear Mr. Trump, you’re killing us. Stop trying to instigate RINO on RINO warfare! Please, we can’t stop laughing. You should be ashamed of yourself for how you have so successfully manipulated two RINOs into attacks, not against you – their most hated enemy, but against themselves. Pshaw and double noogies. Consider yourself reprimanded and rebuked, Sir!
Some may think we are too harsh with The Donald. Well, perhaps we are. But take a look at this video of Donald Trump telling the truth (warning: shocking language from Donald Trump in the video):
Do you see how transparent Donald Trump is here? Bugs Bunny Trump is laying a trap so obvious even goofy Elmer Fudd can see the mechanics of the trap from far far away. How could Donald Trump be so obvious? It’s so clear what he is up to that no one is so stupid as to walk up to his trap, clearly labeled in red letters “BEWARE THIS IS A TRAP.” Everyone sees what Donald Trump is up to here. Trump is trying to start fisticuffs amongst the RINOs in order to divide and conquer.
Donald Trump’s trap is so so so obvious even the Huff n’ Puff Post noticed the warning label and derided The Donald’s oh, so, obvious trap:
Donald Trump Tried To Fire Up Some GOP Drama And Marco Rubio Isn’t Having It
The senator dismissed the idea that he and Jeb Bush hate each other.
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) dismissed the notion on Friday that he and one of his rivals for the GOP presidential nomination, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, dislike each other. The man saying they do, Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, “doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Rubio said on Fox News’ “America’s Newsroom.”
“I have no idea,” he said when asked what Trump might be trying to accomplish. “Who knows with Donald what he’s trying to do. Who cares? I’m running for president, I’m focused on the future of our country.”
Both Bush and Rubio have increased their criticism of Trump in recent weeks, as the always outspoken businessman has continued to bash them and comment on their relationship.
“They hate each other,” Trump said this week at a New Hampshire rally. “They hate, trust me I know. They hate so much. They hate more than anybody in this room hates their neighbor. But it’s political bullshit, do you understand? It’s true.”
Rubio told Fox News that “you don’t have to hate the people you’re running against” and that they can compete in a way that the “American people deserve.”
“In the case of Governor Bush, who I’ve known for a very long time, I admire him and we’re friends,” he said. “But we’re competitors now, too.”
Trump is polling significantly ahead of both Rubio and Bush, according to HuffPost Pollster averages.
Well there you have it. Donald Trump laid a trap all could see. Even the dimwits at Huff n’ Puff could see and report on Donald J. Trump’s entirely obvious trap for Jebbie Downer Bush and snarky snark Rubio.
It’s a big big fail for Donald J. Trump. Trump haters can rejoice. This time for sure Donald Trump is dead. There’s no coming back from this one. Zombie Trump has finally been killed. It’s over. Over. Over and out….
Except that… oh, oh, dear. Hold the burial! Cancel the funeral. Take back the death wreaths. Can this possibly be??? The trap worked? The freakin’ trap freakin’ worked?
How can this be??? Donald Trump laid his brutish trap on September 30. By October 1, Jebbie Downer Bush not only walked into the trap labeled in red block letters “BEWARE TRAP” Jebbie Downer Bush them proceeded to push the plunger on the dynamite trigger labeled “BEWARE – PUSHING PLUNGER WILL TRIGGER DYNAMITE EXPLOSION” then appeared surprised as rocks fell on his head.
Yup, on October 1, Jebbie Downer Bush went on the TV talky box and attacked snarky snark Rubio:
Jeb Bush Throws Rubio Under The Bus, Compares Him To Obama
On MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” today, former Florida governor Jeb Bush turned on his former ally and protegé Marco Rubio, comparing his lack of “leadership skills” to Barack Obama, even though Rubio served as Majority Leader and Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives for nearly ten years (2002-2011). Bush only mentions that he “was a member of the House of Representatives when I was governor.”
JEB BUSH: I think I have the leadership skills to fix things, and that is my strength, and that is what I talk about. And Marco was a member of the [Florida] House of Representatives when I was governor, and he followed my lead, and I am proud of that.
QUESTION, MORNING JOE: You do not think [Rubio] has the skills to fix things?
BUSH: No. Barack Obama didn’t end up having them, and he won an election based on the beleif that people had that he could.
Oh no he dinnt! Bitch done did a throwdown! Scratch his eyes out girlfriend!
Alright. So Jebbie Downer Bush threw down against Rubio. No way snarky snark Rubio is so dumb as to walk into the clearly labeled Donald Trump trap and also pull the adjoining plunger marked “DYNAMITE” right? Well guess what, one day later on October 2 Miss Thing throws down too:
Rubio campaign boots Bush-backing tracker from Iowa event
MIAMI — The Florida family feud between Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio took a surprising turn on Thursday night when a tracker for a super PAC supporting the former governor tried to slip into an Iowa event for Rubio, whose staff quickly spotted and removed him.
The incident involving the Right to Rise super PAC stripped away another veneer of civility between the two friends-turned-campaign rivals, who have been slowly escalating their criticisms of one another.
“It was ill-spirited. Republicans shouldn’t be attacking other Republicans,” said Chris Mudd, who hosted the Cedar Falls Town Hall for Rubio at Mudd Advertising, where the tracker was seen and asked to leave about 6 p.m. local time.
Say Whaaaatttt? Put the Vaseline on your face girls, it’s gonna be a scratchoff. Faces gonna be bleedin’ soon.
Jebbie Downer Bush started his uppity self campaign and said hisself he looked “forward to an exchange of ideas and substantive policy proposals.” Don’t look like that now, do it? Looks like an ol’ fashion rumble scratch face kick your fat butt to the curb ho’down.
Grab your girdles, it’s downright catty with these bitches:
Asked why the group sent someone to Rubio’s town hall, Lindsay took a shot at Rubio for missing more votes than anyone else in the Senate.
“We had to go to Iowa to get Marco Rubio on camera because when we turn on C-SPAN 2 he’s nowhere to be seen on the Senate floor,” Lindsay said.
It’s slap slap slap time. Jebbie Downer Bush hissed back:
Earlier Thursday, in New Hampshire, reporters asked Bush about Rubio’s voting record, prompting the candidate to say “I think if you had a dock in pay strategy, you’d probably get more attendance,” according to the New York Times.
Bush also tried to avoid directly criticizing Rubio by name, saying the two are “close friends and I admire him greatly.”
Honey child if that’s close friends keep back from us ’cause cobras don’t have such sharp fangs.
Um, um, um, it shur ain’t purty. All the neighbors are lookin’ over their backyards watching the two go at it and the site is powerful ugly:
Bush-Rubio rivalry breaks out
The long-simmering rivalry between Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio has finally spilled out into the open.
For months now, the Florida Republicans have battled behind the scenes. The two presidential campaigns have pushed opposition research, battled for activists and donors, and taken frequent implied swipes at one another.
But with Rubio besting Bush in the last three national polls, Bush this week pulled back the curtain. Twice in two days, the former governor publicly sought to draw a distinction between him and the first-term senator, whose political star rose under Bush’s governorship. [snip]
Supporters for Bush and Rubio seemed relieved that the tension has finally boiled over. Members of each camp believe they’re well-positioned to meet the other head-on. [snip]
And Bush’s supporters believe he has homed in on an effective line of attack against Rubio. [snip]
On the Rubio side, the message from supporters was similarly enthusiastic.
They say the attacks are evidence Bush is feeling threatened.
“I don’t know if he’s desperate, but it’s starting to stink like he is,” said Peter Brown, a top Rubio donor in South Carolina. “He’s on the verge of becoming invisible in this race, and all of the sudden, look who he’s going after.” [snip]
“Do you really want to boil it down to who the more tenured politician is in an election cycle when voters have shown no interest in government experience?” he asked.
Donald, did you did that? Now you see wat you dun? Girlfriends be fighting all up with each other up and down the block and everyone be laffin and everythang. It is UGGGGGly.
Now we be cacklin’ and scratchin’ our heads. Just think about it for a sec: Jebbie Downer Bush and Snarky Snark Rubio are down in the bad neighborhood of poll country and instead of pickin’ on Trump the leader of the pack, they go after each other. Think about it:
Poll: Jeb Falls to 4%
The latest Pew poll shows that Jeb Bush has fallen to 4 percent in the Republican field. Donald Trump leads the field with 25 percent; Ben Carson is at 16 percent.
Carly Fiorina and Marco Rubio are tied for third at 8 percent of the Republican field.
The Stop Trump pawns went from loser to loser and now the latest pawn, FioRINO is still in single digits, they’ve run out of pawns to attack Trump with and trying to come up with some new ones (get back on that roof, Mitt!) and instead of fighting the frontrunning winner they start beatin’ on each other. Can you top that???
You know, sometimes, in between cackles, we sit back and wonder: Is Donald Trump that totally smart? Or are the puny ones he’s trashing so stupid? Losers. They’re losers.