We held a contest in the earlier comments section for the Chris Christie Bridgegate Theme Song. We think the obvious winner is Bridge Over Troubled Water but we’re open to new entrants in this most important joust – just nominate them in the comments.
We think it is also time for a Hillary Clinton 2016 Theme Song contest. [Count the seconds for BuzzFeed and others to muck with this most important international effort that will make the oceans rise and bring the planet to high heels.]
The nominees are:
This first contestant comes from the Hillary Haters still steamed about how Hillary skated by the Benghazi hearing (we warned them beforehand that congressional Republicans can’t organize a two song contest and that Hillary would beat them with ease. We wrote only a select committee or special prosecutor would work but, no surprise, they didn’t listen. Our only surprise about the Benghazi hearing was that Hillary wore green, not big pink or Celestial Choirs stinging yellow). The Haters want this song to represent the Hillary Clinton 2016 campaign, which we like because, well, Dinah, Doh:
Our second contestant from the Hillary Clinton pink walled triumphalism palace (currently under construction) is a poke in the, um, eye to the haters and those advising humility. Don’t you let nothing, nothing stand in your way:
From temporary Duck Dynasty exile this song for Mrs. Kay from Phil Robertson who maybe is taking a sly slap at Hillary. We’ll keep it in anyway as contestant #3:
Barack Obama race-baiters, furious because we repeatedly advise Hillary Clinton 2016 to ditch the Kook heavy Obama coalition in favor of the of the FDR/Bill Clinton New Democrat Coalition, send in this fourth contestant. We love pink and black trimmed Chanel suits so we let this one into the contest as well:
We’re throwing this fifth one in because of the Hillary Clinton mention in the season opener of Coven, it upends with scorn and laughter those witch Hillary pictures Haters love to post — and because Hillary is the White Witch right???? Right? Move over Stevie:
Well, after that no apologies no limits confession of a pagan metaphysical 2016 election campaign strategy with patented New Orleans rattler-viper-sperm-incense and all sorts of other JuJu walk on gilded splinters voodoo Salem power – let’s go all the way with #6 via Frank:
Our eighth and final contestant before the comments section weighs in is our nominee from 2008. They did not listen to us in 2008 and we know what happened. Will they listen in 2012? Listen up (ignore the typos):
Potential theme songs for other potential candidates in 2016 also welcome. Barack Obama themes such as “I’m A Loser” also welcome. Let a thousand chords be plucked.