What a wonderful workers’ paradise we live in! In what other country could a normal jane/joe government worker feast themselves with the same pleasures, vacations, golf excursions as the president? Tonight, if all goes according to plan, the workers paradise will not be lowly HOPE, but a most definite CHANGE. Federal workers of the nation: REJOICE!
How wonderful that we all live in this new age of HOPE and CHANGE. How exhilarating to breathe in the fumes of unity and sweet perfumes of B.O. We are all overcome with happiness.
The cherry blossoms are in bloom. The planet is healing. The oceans are receding. The pages are turning away from all the horrible tortures of previous America. No longer will Americans have to suffer as they did in the 1990s by having to work. We are in a new age of glory.
The workers tonight will be free. No more work. Take that Bill Clinton – you who provided so many jobs like some sort of modern day Simon Legree, keeping the workers under the lash. Obama has brought forth liberation. Obama is showing the way! Just think how glorious it would be if all the federal government workers about to be liberated from their humdrum workaday lives would join glorious leader this weekend in his latest example to the working class of the joys of the dolce vita – a Williamsburg vacation.
Evil Bill Clinton oppressed the workers and made sure there was a steady supply of jobs. Evil Bill Clinton the oppressor of the working class. Mess-iah Obama has brought forth HOPE.
There are new enemies threatening the new Jerusalem about to descend. As Obama brings forth the workers’ paradise of golf, and endless vacations evil men like Eric Cantor make threats such as “We Will Not Leave Town Until We Cut Spending & Get Our Fiscal House In Order” and keep the federal government from shutting down:
Cruelty, thy name is Cantor!. Go on vacation, stop working!
Because of animals like Cantor, who insist on working ceaselessly, Barack Obama has been deprived of the opportunity to grace the people of Indiana with his presence today. Can you hear the cries of woe from the citizens of Indiana? Let’s pray and light incense tonight that Obama is not hampered further from bringing light and beneficence to the people of Williamsburg tomorrow:
“The leader of the free world may be coming to Williamsburg for some rest and relaxation if Congress is able to come to agreement on the budget. President Obama and the First Family are planning to visit the area this weekend in what the White House described Wednesday as a “long-planned family trip to Colonial Williamsburg.” [snip]
The announcement that Obama was coming generated excitement from Williamsburg Mayor Clyde Haulman. “I think it’s terrific. Williamsburg was voted as the number one family destination,” Haulman said. “The first family is coming to the first destination.”
Evil Republicans are conspiring to prevent Obama from bringing his lessons of relaxation and ceaseless vacation to the masses. But Obama is not alone in his glorious quest to instruct on indulgence. Glorious Obama has fellow revelers prepared to fight the Evil Republicans with educational trips of extravagance:
“With a government shutdown looming, Capitol Hill was a pretty serious place on Wednesday afternoon.
But for Rep. Corrine Brown (D-Fla.), what better way to ease the tension than with a congressional ladies personal shopping trip in Arlington, Va.?
According to an email from Brown’s scheduler titled, “Outing with Congresswoman Corrine Brown,” staff member Cathy Gass invited Brown’s fellow female Congressional Black Caucus members to join the lawmaker at a boutique in Crystal City, Va. on Wednesday afternoon.
According to the email, which was addressed to “CBC Schedulers,” Brown “would like to invite the woman [sic] CBC Members to go shopping with her at Daniel’s Boutique this afternoon after votes. [snip]
Gass also suggests that for members who “would like to share [their] dress size, the boutique can pull some items for them to have available once they arrive.”
For those unfamiliar with the ultra high-end service, pulling clothes that a client might like before they arrive is better known as personal shopping.”
What fabulous examples for lowly workers these tribunes of the poor are! Shop till you drop!
Barack Obama is fighting back like a great Caesar on a mighty mount. Barack Obama has warned those who would deprive him of a new vacation that he expects “an answer by morning.” Obama will not be thwarted in his vacation plans!
“BASH: I can tell you that talking to Democratic sources here in Congress over the past weeks, weeks and weeks, actually really months as this has been going on, this short-term spending bill after short-term spending bill to try to keep the government running, there’s been a lot of frustration with the President, with the White House, that they have not gotten more involved. You certainly saw the President out tonight and you saw him out last night. You’re seeing him involved at the eleventh hour. But many of his fellow Democrats are saying, where were you before? We needed you before.
And the reason, they think, is because it’s just not a politically a good thing for him to be doing to be getting involved in this kind of fight when he’s positioning himself for reelection and doesn’t want to be mired in this back and forth over a few billion dollars in spending.”
Villains! How dare they demand Barack Obama interrupt his vacations and put the nation’s interests above his own interests! How dare they question the great leader’s leadership!:
“Not a stranger to criticism of the White House, freshman Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) is again faulting President Barack Obama’s ability to lead, this time saying that the president employs “a different form of leadership than I’ve ever seen.”
“It’s not what I’m used to and it’s not what I’ve yet seen to be effective from my vantage point,” he told ABC News on Thursday.
In early March, Manchin made a floor speech in which he said Obama had “failed to lead” on the budget. On Thursday morning, he wrote to Senate colleagues asking them to consider donating their pay or returning it to the Treasury if there is a government shutdown.
“It doesn’t seem to be working because I think the president the only one who looks at all 50 states,” he said, noting that he and other members of Congress are focused not on the whole country but on their own constituents. [snip]
Ultimately, Manchin said, voters will decide whether Obama’s leadership skills satisfy them.
“The public will speak,” he said. “They’ll have a chance to speak at the next election. But frankly I don’t care and I’m not worried about the next election. If we don’t get our financial house in order and our next generation isn’t going to have a chance.”
How dare he question the glorious path of the glorious leader! He must be a racist!
The Obama workers’ paradise is coming. More and more will soon be liberated from the constraints of work.