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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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Obama’s People

Today the New York Times Magazine is devoted exclusively to pictures of Obama’s People. We are surprised that with the title Obama’s People there have not been shouts of “racism”.

Now that we are assured it is not racist, we thought we would take the opportunity to discuss Obama’s People too.

* * [...]

The Prince And The Paupers

Barack Obama is luxuriating in spending while Americans are drowning in austerity. This is not news when it comes to Barack Obama. Obama luxuriated in his Rezko mansion when he knew or should have known his constituents, African-Americans, were freezing in a Chicago winter.

Once Democrats denounced lavish and wasteful spending on Inaugurals. Now our best [...]

Fantasy Island

Big Media is hailing yesterday’s plane landing in the Hudson and River and subsequent rescue of passengers as a Miracle. Nonsense. It was no miracle. It was experience that saved the day.

Terrified plane passengers probably prayed and hoped to survive. Terrified plane passengers doubtlessly wanted a change from their present circumstances. But what saved the [...]

Hillary Clinton Bids Adieu; Barack Obama Threatens Veto

Senator Hillary Clinton bid adieu to the U.S. Senate today.

Earlier the Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted 16-1 to recommend her nomination as Secretary of State to the full U.S. Senate. High-priced brothel customer Vitter (whose home state Louisiana has profited the most from Bill Clinton’s fund-raising) was the sole dissenting vote – which says something, [...]

Gays, Geithner, and Gender

Update: Geithner accepted payment from the IMF as restitution for taxes that he had not, in fact, paid. Full story HERE.

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Gays, Geithner, and Gender became focal points for hypocrisy watchers immediately after Hillary Clinton showed she is a “smart power”.

Hillary Clinton yesterday showed the world what an experienced and [...]

Stately Hillary Clinton

Update: The two full hearing sessions may be viewed at C-SPAN. The morning session is HERE. The afternoon session is HERE.
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Hillary Clinton is testifying at a hearing before the Committee on Foreign Relations of the U.S. Senate. Hillary Clinton’s testimony as nominee for Secretary of State may be viewed on-line at [...]

Obama Is The Third Bush Term, Part II – Guantanamo

The third George W. Bush term – starring Barack W. Obama – will be just as exciting, more corrupt, inept, dangerous and debilitating.

Our view of Obama, as a very bad Third Bush Term, is not welcome in many quarters. “Now is the time for unity and hope” we are told. “Shush, things will be better [...]

Naked To Mine Enemies

Sometimes you have no other recourse than to laugh at the Obama Drama buffoonery and backstabbings.

As we gear up to discuss (probably next week) the economic situation and the so-called “Stimulus” schemes we need to take note of some little noted ironies and telling incidents regarding the upcoming Third Bush Term.

No discussion of buffoonery is [...]

Obama’s Social Security Treachery

Obama has now revealed what his legacy is to be – the destruction of Social Security.

Ignore the flowery words, Obama is planning a great treachery. Expect PINOs to be silent.

Obama today mouthed another “big speech” on the economy. Ignore it. Obama is doing the ol’ Razzle Dazzle to distract from his real plans.

The Obama economic [...]

Barack Obama: ‘Screw Feinstein – She’s A Girl’

Big Media and Dimocrats continue to protect sexist and misogynist Barack Obama. Not a one, and add Big Blog PINOs to the Obama protection goons, discussed the obvious – too obvious – reason that Obama “dissed” Senator Diane Feinstein on the Leon Panetta nomination to the Central Intelligence Agency.

The obvious reason Obama [...]