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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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Bill – The Bomber

Joe – The Plumber is getting trashed by Barack Obama himself as well as Barack Obama’s Chicago thugs and the ally thugs on Big Blogs. John McCain must defend Joe – The Plumber against thug Obama and his hired thugs and thug allies.

John McCain must utilize the Obama thug attacks which speak [...]

Joe – The Plumber

John McCain, possibly by design, but more likely by pure luck, has forged a powerful weapon in his tough fight against the inexperienced, and unqualified Barack Obama.

Joe – The Plumber, makes a quintessential argument from the “rugged individualism” strain of American politics which emphasizes individual responsibility. Joe – The Plumber, makes the [...]

Obama, Ayers, Rezko, Ahmadinejad, Wright, Part II

Hillary Clinton will be in attendance at tonight’s debate between Barack Obama and John McCain. Hillary will be more than just an audience member.

“If there’s an opportunity to raise the Clinton name, it will be in this debate,” said Morris Reid, a Democratic communications strategist and former Commerce Department official under President [...]

Obama, Ayers, Rezko, Ahmadinejad, Wright, Part I

We’ll continue, during the next few days, to show John McCain the way to expose Barack Obama – the same Barack Obama who trashed Hillary Clinton when Hillary Clinton proposed a gas tax holiday – the same Barack Obama who trashed Hillary Clinton when Hillary Clinton proposed a 90 day moratorium (in May 2008) on [...]

McCain’s Angry Crowds

Big Media is pushing the narrative that the crowds at John McCain’s rallies are angry and getting angrier as a final act of desperation. But that is not why McCain rally attendees are angry.

The anger displayed at the McCain rallies is the same anger and for the same reason that could be [...]

Don’t Believe The Obama Hype

In the weeks leading up to the first primary of 2008 the Dimocratic leadership and the Obama campaign tried to force Hillary out of the race. The people of New Hampshire however gave the first in the nation primary victory to Hillary.

The Obama campaign kept up the drumbeat about “the Math” and [...]

John McCain Debates Barack Obama

When Hurricane Gustave hit New Orleans during the Republican National Convention John McCain “rode the wave”. McCain restructured the Republican convention to reflect concern for the people of the Gulf Coast states and of New Orleans. McCain now needs to “ride the wave” again. This time it’s the economic crisis McCain must [...]

McCain, Palin, Big Media, And Obama Race To November

Today, and at tomorrow night’s debate, Barack Obama will attack John McCain regarding the Keating 5 scandal. It will be a wholly appropriate attack. The attack will be appropriate because candidates during elections should bring issues of character and record to the voters.

Tomorrow when the Obama Keating 5 attack comes, John [...]

Obama Rezko Biden, Palin

Last night’s Vice-Presidential debate between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin was widely viewed by American voters. Not since 1992 have so many Americans watched a debate in such high numbers.

Americans watched the debate in part for the bread-and-circuses appeal created by Big Media’s guffaws. Big Media coverage of Governor Palin led many Americans [...]

Sarah Palin’s New Frontier

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will debate Senator Joe Biden tonight.

There are two goals Governor Palin should have.

1. The first goal is to explain to the American voter why John McCain chose her for vice president.

2. The second goal should be to concentrate her fire on Barack Obama. [...]