Update: Palin Biography video below.
It can now be reported.
Following months of investigation by intrepid Big Pink investigators in collaboration with Big Media and Big Blog busybodies the real story of what went on behind the Hillary Clinton campaign can now be told.
As many know, Hillary Clinton was the “woman” candidate “ready on Day 1” with 35 years of experience. After a race in which the unqualified Barack Obama race-baited, and gay-bashed, and woman hated, the unDemocratic Party selected Barack Obama as its nominee. The unDemocratic Party stopped at nothing in order to block Hillary Clinton, including disenfranchising the voters of Florida and Michigan.
But that is all old news.
The shocker rocking the political world is that throughout the primary campaign Hillary Clinton was pregnant. It was only recently, after the unDemocratic convention in Denver that Hillary finally gave birth. The gestation period lasted more than 44 years.
The shocker on top of this shock is that Hillary’s baby is non other than the Governor of Alaska, now the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin. We will provide photographic proof of this amazing conception as soon as kooky Big Blogs post the shocking photos.
Clinton campaign staffers expressed shock that Hillary had been pregnant all the time. “She wasn’t showing,” stated media guru Mandy Grunwald, “None of us knew. We’re shocked.”
“It looked as if she had gained a little weight, but most of us thought it was due to lack of exercise and sleep and the greasy campaign food” explained shocked campaign internet guru Peter Daou. Anonymous sources at the campaign were said to be equally shocked.
The shock extended to the highest level of the campaign. A young woman with curly hair and a name similar to a New York resident hotel as well as a neighborhood in London was shocked. “I’m shocked” shouted the young lady. “No one knew. It is simply a shock.”
Republicans are equally shocked. The thought that Hillary Clinton is the mother of their Vice Presidential nominee shocked the Republican convention in St. Paul, Minnesota.
Republican Presidential candidate John McCain declared he was told Hillary Clinton was Sarah Palin’s mother, during the vetting process. “I am aware that without Hillary Clinton, there would be no Sarah Palin” stated the maverick reform Republican. Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt of the McCain campaign stated they were aware of the shocking news before Sarah Palin’s convention speech.
“The first clue was how good she looked in pantsuits” enthused mop top Davis.
The campaign shocker did not faze the confident newly born Sarah Palin, target of many news investigations and Big Blog rumors. “Hi, Mom, thanks for everything” was the VP nominee’s sole comment.