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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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Barack Obama, The One, The One Truth, The Intimidation, The Thug

We’ll put in context the latest Rezko news tomorrow. Sometime this week we’ll give some advice to Governor Sarah Palin regarding this week’s debate. This Sunday however, we will have a not so metaphysical discussion about the truth.

Yesterday, regarding this past Friday’s debate (which was pretty much of a bust as to numbers of viewers) [...]

Obama Bin Lyin’, Again

Obama learned what a Big Mac Attack really means.

Obama tried his usual tricks, some borrowed from Tim Russert, but McCain called Obama out. The old Tim Russert trick is to “misquote” someone and use that “misquote” to force a concession. Obama tried that Russert trick last night but McCain remembered how [...]

Something For Nothing

Update: Tonight’s debate at 9:00 p.m. (EST) will be webcast at the following websites:

http://c-span.com/Watch/C-SPAN_wm.aspx

http://www.cnn.com/video/live/live.html?stream=stream1

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/live-campaign-coverage

http://www.weta.org/video/webcasts

http://www.npr.org/stations/index.php?ps=st1

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From us a vote of NO CONFIDENCE.

There is long history of Republican deregulation mania, Republicans protecting CEOs of companies who lavished themselves with salaries and warrants and options. Republicans have long been economic hypocrites providing socialist protections and socialism with a [...]

November 5, 2008

This should have been a year for huge Democratic Party victories. But instead of huge solid victories in national, state, and local elections Democrats are suffering because albatross Obama is at the top of the Democratic ticket.

Democrats are not basking in solid victories but instead suffering an election which swings back and forth single digit [...]

NObama

As we wrote yesterday:

This Wednesday we will post our long awaited opus regarding What Hillary Supporters Should Do after the election in NOvember. Some of what we suggest will be denounced. Some of what we suggest will be applauded. What matters is that the strategy will be set and the time of longer term [...]

Happy Election Day

This Wednesday we will post our long awaited opus regarding What Hillary Supporters Should Do after the election in NOvember. Some of what we suggest will be denounced. Some of what we suggest will be applauded. What matters is that the strategy will be set and the time of longer term action will arrive.

The time [...]

Kernell Of Truth

Obama and his Chicago thugs are quite simply that: thugs.

The head thug: Barack Obama. Co-thug: Michelle Obama.

Obama reiterated his marching orders to his army of thugs yesterday:

In Elko, Obama tried to anticipate his critics and called on the crowd of about 1,500 to sharpen their elbows, too.

“I need you [...]

John McCain vs. Barack Obama On The Financial Crisis

Update: Hillary Clinton knows what to do. Hillary has a plan. Senator Clinton offered a series of bold, specific proposals, including creating a new version of the Home Owners’ Loan Corporation (HOLC) to restore confidence in the market, curbing the most damaging and manipulative trading practices, providing relief to homeowners facing foreclosure, and [...]

The Coming Barack Obama Dimocrat Defeat

Update: Lynn Forester de Rothschild on CNN video.

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For months we have advocated an alliance between high dollar Democratic donors and Democratic grassroots activists.

High dollar Democratic donors and grassroots activists have endured catcalls from Obama supporters and Big Blog Dimocrats as “revenge voters”. Many have alienated the Dimocratic leadership and some risk friendships and positions [...]

Barack Obama’s Dimocrats

There are many reasons why we say:

Obama simply cannot be trusted. Obama cannot be trusted on any issue. Obama cannot be trusted by his friends. Obama cannot be trusted by his enemies. Obama cannot be trusted.

Barack Obama moved what used to be the Democratic National Committee (hereinafter, the Dimocratic National Committee) to the home [...]