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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

Recent Articles Calendar

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California Super Debate With Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama

DEBATE TONIGHT.

The Democratic Debate will be on CNN at 8:00 p.m. (ET). The debate may also be seen on the internet HERE.

Last debate before Super Tuesday primaries.

The debate — sponsored by CNN, the Los Angeles Times and Politico — starts at 8 p.m. ET Thursday on CNN and CNN.com. CNN’s Wolf Blitzer is the moderator.

CNN [...]

Friendly Faces

[ Don't forget - Debate tonight- 8:00 p.m. (ET) CNN.]

Lots of friendly faces sending photos to us. The photograph to the left is from Connecticut and includes a certain comment writer we enjoy hearing from every morning (”Good Morning Hillfans”).

Recently the American Nurses Association, representing 2.9 million registered nurses endorsed Hillary. Today, New York Firefighters [...]

Snubbing The Unknown

Update: Recall the Obama “mistaken” votes in the Illinois State Senate? Well, apparently Obama not only does not know how to press the right button, Obama can’t get voting with raised arm right either. And, Obama does not bother to tell Americans when he has voted “incorrectly”. Here is the amazing [...]

Florida: Make Hillary 44

We’ll make this short and sweet (updates throughout the day as events warrant).

Big Media lost big last night.

Obama lost big last night.

Obama’s campaign is not very bright, smart, or swift.

What’s the proof for the above statements? The proof is John Edwards has quit.

* * *

Recall, Big Media and Obama were [...]

Let The Sunshine In

[Send some Sunshiny love to the Great Congresswoman Maxine Waters from the Great State of California for her Great Endorsement of Hillary today. (323) 757-8900 and (310) 642-4610 Thank the Congresswoman's great and friendly staff too.]

* * *

Barack Obama wants to disenfranchise Florida voters. Obama calls the votes of millions in the Sunshine state [...]

Obama Snubs Hillary Clinton, Florida, and 15 Million Americans

Barack Obama betrayed his true unvarnished personality and politics when he responded at a New Hampshire debate to Hillary’s warm compliments, “You’re likeable enough, Hillary“.

Last night at the State of the Union speech Obama once again revealed himself. The Chicago Tribune caught Obama in the act of being himself:

“Sen. Barack Obama refused to make [...]

Hillary Clinton Defends Voter Rights in Florida

Before discussing the Florida situation we must post the latest news regarding the arrest of Antoin “Tony” Rezko.

After today’s arrest of Antoin “Tony” Rezko, Barack Obama’s indicted slumlord friend, there was a court hearing. The top ABC News investigative reporter, Brian Ross, is on the job. Ross reports that A federal judge sent accused Illinois [...]

A Face In The Crowd

Update II: REZKO Arrested
—————————-

Update: For the poll conscious – Wall Street Journal reports:

The Illinois senator trails Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York by large margins in polls in most of the big states voting Feb. 5. And he lacks the time or resources to campaign intensively in many of those far-flung races to close the [...]

Sunshine Sunday With Hillary Clinton

[Hillary Clinton will be interviewed on CBS' Face The Nation this morning. We expect the economy and seating Florida delegates at the Democratic National Convention to be topics of interest along with the South Carolina results and the role of race in the campaign. We do not expect a discussion of the role of women [...]

Hillary Clinton From Amsterdam News To South Carolina

Some links for tonight’s South Carolina vote results (Unofficial results statewide HERE)

Unofficial results by County HERE

Unofficial results by Congressional District HERE.

South Carolina State Election Commission statewide results HERE interactive results map.

South Carolina Unofficial results Estimated Voter turnout HERE.

South Carolina Democratic Party Statewide Results HERE

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[From the previous comments section:]

Don’t forget to thank Craig [...]