When Dogs Bark

If there is any doubt as to how deranged Big Media, even British Big Media, have become when it comes to the topic of Hillary Clinton, more proof sadly has arrived.

The Atlantic Monthy, once a prestigious publication, has debased our national conversation on the 2008 presidential election with a brand sparkling new anti-Hillary Clinton article called No Girlfriend of Mine.

We will tease you for a while by withholding from you the topic of that debased article.

The equally debased London Times today published an article based on the debased article in the debased Atlantic Monthly.

Here now is the key sentence from today’s London Times which describes a reason why Hillary might not become the president – you fill in the blanks with the reason provided as to why Hillary will be kept out of the White House:

“Some believe ___ _________ ___ could now come between Hillary Clinton and her ambition to return to the White House as America’s first woman president.”

Can you guess what the great reason is for Hillary not getting elected president?

The answer is: “the abandoned pet”.

Here is more from the deranged article actually published in the London Times:

“AS THE “first pet” of the Clinton era, Socks, the White House cat, allowed “chilly” Hillary Clinton to show a caring, maternal side as well as bringing joy to her daughter Chelsea. So where is Socks today? [snip]

Some believe the abandoned pet could now come between Hillary Clinton and her ambition to return to the White House as America’s first woman president. [snip]

Clinton’s treatment of Socks cuts to the heart of the questions about her candidacy. Is she too cold and calculating to win the presidency? Or does it signify political invincibility by showing she is willing to deploy every weapon to get what she wants?

“In the annals of human evil, off-loading a pet is nowhere near the top of the list,” writes Caitlin Flanagan in the current issue of The Atlantic magazine. “But neither is it dead last, and it is especially galling when said pet has been deployed for years as an all-purpose character reference.”

Flanagan’s article, headed No Girlfriend of Mine, points out that Clinton wrote a crowd-pleas-ing book Dear Socks, Dear Buddy: Kids’ Letters to the First Pets, in which she claimed that only with the arrival of Socks and his “toy mouse” did the White House “become a home”.

Caitlan Flanagan is an absolute idiot that owes thinking people, as well as all Americans, an apology for writing such stupidity and the Atlantic Monthly owes us all an apology for publishing such stupidity.

Here is idiot Caitlan Flanagan’s garbage:

Sometimes I imagine Betty Currie (remember her?) starting another long morning of her golden retirement. She pours a cup of coffee, glances at the headlines of the newspaper on the kitchen table, and then, with a sigh of infinite resignation, she cinches the belt on her dressing gown a little tighter, finds a plastic bag, and heads to the bathroom to clean the litter box of a former celebrity.

When I first heard, during the strange final days of Bill Clinton’s presidency, that the first couple were going to jettison Socks, the family cat, I assumed that it was one of those weird rumors that attach themselves to the Clintons, in this case one easily dispelled: a single photograph of the kitty happily curled up on a window seat in his new home, and that would be the end of it. But then, as so often happens with weird rumors that attach themselves to the Clintons, the story turned out to be 100 percent true. Reporters asked Bill about it during a press conference, and he hemmed and hawed. As the final days passed by—which, as you may recall, included a newsy sluice of pardons and outrages, hardly a time when journalists had to invest minor incidents with greater importance—reporters couldn’t quite get their heads around the business with the cat.

In this hour of crisis, the official Socks the Cat Fan Club sent an inquiry to its namesake’s most stalwart champion. Hillary’s Senate office replied with a note—at once chilly and patronizing— suggesting, more or less, that they butt out.

Caitlan Flanagan is an idiot. Her “chilly” narrative is what is disturbing. Her “hemming and hawing” distortions are disturbing. Caitlan Flanagan is an idiot spinning idiot narratives.

This past week we have all beheld the Ellen DeGeneres doggie breakdown on television. Here is the sad tale, courtesy of the (surprise!) London Times:

American comedian Ellen DeGeneres has caused an unlikely scandal after breaking down and sobbing on television.

The show business veteran bawled for several minutes on her syndicated chat show yesterday as she told the audience about an unfortunate incident involving a dog, her hairdresser and a canine contract.

The 49-year-old explained she had adopted a puppy named Iggy from an animal rescue centre on September 20, but, despite training and neutering, Iggy failed to impress the comedian’s cats. On hearing her hairdresser was looking for a family pet, and to prevent her feline friends suffering further distress, DeGeneres gave the dog away.

When pet rescue agency Mutts and Moms heard of Iggy’s new domestic arrangements, it informed DeGeneres that giving away the Brussels Griffon terrier cross was a breach of the adoption contract she had signed. The agency reclaimed the dog, leaving the hairdresser’s two young daughters distraught.

We’ll spare you the rest of the details concerning Ellen’s doggie problems. Suffice to say that pets are greatly loved and separation from our furry friends causes all sorts of distress. When it’s pet species vs other pet species, watch out.

Which brings us back to idiot Caitlan. Caitlan could have spared the Atlantic Monthly a paycheck and expense report by referring curious Socks’ fans to Wikipedia, that online resource. Here is the true saga, not the idiots version, of Socks the cat and why Socks lives with her new mom Betty Currie

Socks was adopted by the Clintons in 1991 after he jumped into the arms of Chelsea Clinton while she was leaving the house of her piano teacher in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he was playing with his sibling, ‘Midnight’. Midnight was later adopted by someone else. After Bill Clinton became President, Socks moved with the family from the governor’s mansion to the White House and became the principal pet of the First Family in Clinton’s first term, though he was known to share his food and water with a stray tabby, dubbed “Slippers.” He was often taken to schools, hospitals, and nursing homes to take part in goodwill visits.[citation needed] During the Clinton administration, children visiting the White House website would be guided by a cartoon version of Socks.

He eventually lost the position of principal Clinton pet in 1997 when the Clintons acquired Buddy, a Labrador Retriever. At this point some fans of Socks joked that Socks had been “voted out of office” of White House pet in favor of the more traditional dog. Socks found Buddy’s intrusion intolerable; according to Hillary Rodham Clinton, Socks “despised Buddy from first sight, instantly and forever” and Bill Clinton said that “I did better with the Palestinians and the Israelis… than I’ve done with Socks and Buddy.” When the Clintons left the White House in 2001 they took Buddy to their new home, but left Socks under the care of Bill Clinton’s secretary, Betty Currie. Socks was only the fourth cat to occupy the White House since Franklin Roosevelt’s presidency.

In mid-2006 Socks was in good health and still living with Currie and her husband in Hollywood, Maryland, about 130 km from Washington. In October 2005 he made a now-rare public appearance when Currie was guest speaker at an Officers’ Spouses Club luncheon at Andrews Air Force Base. Socks accompanied her and took part in a photo op.

By the way, poor Buddy was killed by a car shortly after moving to New York. At the time, and we are serious, there were numerous stories about the “strange” death of Buddy and the complicity of Bill and Hillary Clinton in poor Buddy’s death (we kid you not). Betty Currie took the little cat, not the big Labrador home with her, and they lived happily ever after. Socks is the lucky cat who lived in the White House and escaped the plots and investigations of Congressional Ripublicans unhappy with Peace and Prosperity in the Clinton years.

We suspect Caitlan’s next move will be a mind meld with Representative Dan Burton, the deranged Indiana Ripublican who investigated Socks the cat’s mail in one of his Caitlan Flanagan type investigations.

According to the Atlantic Monthly Caitlan is now hard at work writing a book about the emotional life of pubescent girls – we kid you not.

The Atlantic Monthly can be reached at letters@theatlantic.com
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