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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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Oops, I Did It Again

Oops, time to blame the staff again.

According to the Washington Post “on the same day Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) was telling union officials that he “won’t shop” at Wal-Mart, members of his staff were in a Wal-Mart in Bedford, N.H., buying $182 worth of office equipment.” Must be (everybody join in)…Another Staff Mistake. If another candidate made this “mistake” the crowd from Chicago would have demanded a special prosecutor by now. The Hillary campaign has been too polite to comment.

The ladies and gentlemen at the Hillary Clinton campaign also politely declined to comment on certain comments directed against Hillary by Elizabeth Edwards. The comments were too zany to bother answering, but it is possible some of our commenters will take the time to list the decades of work Hillary has devoted to women’s issues and contradict the bizarre charges. We like Elizabeth Edwards. We really do. The John Edwards campaign is very lucky to have her on board. After all, Elizabeth Edwards is a bankruptcy lawyer, which could come in handy – particularly after those second quarter reports.

We are confused however by one aspect of the the ugly attack by Elizabeth Edwards against Hillary. As we understand it, the Edwards campaign has abandoned Iraq as a line of attack after a particularly effective retort by Obama at one of the Democratic Party debates. Coupled with (a) Edwards poll leads in zero states, (b) no longer leading in either his home state of North Carolina (which he failed to carry in 2004), (c) or in his birth state of South Carolina, and (d) Edwards’ waste of precious dollars in a failed advertising campaign in New Hampshire (now falling behind Richardson in the beloved Granite State), the Edwards campaign worked for the past weeks to regress to the “Two Americas” theme.

To that end the Edwards campaign organized a, for them, major offensive in the form of a “poverty” tour.

Edwards brushed off media reports about his expensive haircuts and his spacious home in North Carolina as distractions that do a disservice to the thousands of Americans living in poverty. “I want the media to focus on the people we are talking about,” Edwards said.

Here’s what we are confused about: candidate Edwards wanted the media to focus on the people affected by poverty. As this was a major effort by candidate Edwards we are confused as to why Elizabeth Edwards “stepped” on the message? Is this some novel, innovative, genius Joe Trippi “magic” whereby the campaign short circuits its own message? We don’t get it. We thought message control was still in vogue. Alas it appears not to be so in the Edwards campaign.

The Edwards campaign can count itself lucky in that reporters were distracted from the “haircut” stories when ABC’s Raelyn Johnson reported from the “poverty” tour that “Elizabeth Edwards was showing off her MBT sneakers to reporters on the plane yesterday; the shoes, which purport to reduce cellulite, retail for $245.” Oh, those innovative nutroots-embracing madcap Trippi campaigners! What will they think of next?

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21 comments to Oops, I Did It Again

  • kostner

    Team Edwards a complete joke, but we’d better ignore these two phoneys in the meantime. EE is a loose cannon, such a pleasant surprise. But we do need Edwards to stay in the game, at least for now. Those silly candidates make Hillary look very presidential.

  • Paula

    I’m glad the Clinton people didn’t respond, because those comments only damage Edwards’ campaign. I also noticed the Edwards people trying to distance themselves from the remarks, too, by not adressing them directly.

  • [...] Clark Link to Article barack obama Oops, I Did It Again » Posted at Hillary Is 44 on Wednesday, [...]

  • sandy1938

    Why doesn’t EE go after Obama for voting “Present” twice in the Illiois State Legislature on Abortion rights, instead of voting in favor of women’s rights, and taking a stand?

    I guess that Elizabeth Edwards is not a member of NOW, who wholeheartedly supports Hillary Clinton’s lifetime commitment to women’s reproductive rights (not just because she is a woman).

  • terrondt

    is elizebeth edwards the one that attacked hillary as not being happy last year? i could be wrong. edwards is a third bracket candidate now. he is no threat.

  • Paula

    terrondt, You are correct. She ended up calling Hillary and apologizing.

  • terrondt

    kostner that link is funny.lol

  • DCDemocrat

    Daily Kos actually had a pro-Hillary diary on the recommended list today. Kossacks liked the stand-up way Hillary’s staff attacked Bill O’Reilly’s attack on Yearly Kos.

    The cognitive dissonance over at Big Orange is causing skulls to crack. Certain anti-Hillary people even forswore for the day attacking Hillary. I think people over there may be starting to recognize the writing on the wall says neither, “Obama,” nor, “Edwards.”

  • terrondt

    mydd has more pro-hillary diaries than daily kos but the deck is still very stacked against her on those blogs.

  • DCDemocrat

    terrondt: When she becomes the only vessel for their hopes, they will come around.

  • kitforhill

    Yay DC Dem, I know you well on DailyKos…believe me, I have missed you….yes amazingly enough the Kossers have come around today and I am noticing those annoying Edwards fans aren’t piping up quite so much. Edwards is falling off the first tier quickly, and boy Elizabeth really is starting to stick foot in mouth. I think the more people see and hear Hillary they like her, and the opposite for Edwards. I always think he’s going to say something, but it’s always just a big smile, nice hair, and not much substance. I have seen some bloggers actually say it’s Hillary and we might as well get used to it. It’s not the enthusiasm I want, but they are coming around!!!

  • Paula

    The Hillary campaign now has an official reply up to EE’s broadside:

    http://www.hillaryhub.com

  • kostner

    Hillary does not take Mrs. Edwards’ bait, SMART!!!

    Elizabeth Edwards may have been hoping to spark a war of words with her statement that Democrat Hillary Clinton wouldn’t be the best president for America’s women — but the New York senator would not oblige.

    On a conference call with California reporters Wednesday — where she announced a new endorsement by Rep. Ellen Tauscher of Walnut Creek — Clinton was asked about the controversial remarks. Edwards, the wife of Clinton’s Democratic rival John Edwards, told Salon.com in an interview that the former first lady is “just not as vocal a women’s advocate as I want to see” in the White House. (No surprise, she sees her husband as the best choice in the presidential race for women.)

    Clinton chose not to fire back at Edwards. Instead she simply defended her record.

    “I am running because I believe I am the best qualified person to do this job,” Clinton said. “I have worked very hard for most of my life on behalf of women and children and families and I’m very proud of my record — before I was in public life and now as a senator.”

    She added: “I am going to continue to work on the issues that I know are important to the women and children who I already represent.”

    Clinton was staying disciplined: The story of the day being spun to the California media was the Tauscher endorsement. A seasoned political pro, Clinton avoided any personal remarks about Elizabeth Edwards, who is battling cancer, to avoid generating the “Catfight!” headlines invariably used to describe any dispute between high-profile women.

    Elizabeth Edwards’ comments were some of the sharper elbows thrown in recent days because they went straight at the gender issue. She told Salon.com, “Maybe her supporters say, ‘Support me because I’m a woman,’ and I want to say to her, ‘Well, then support me because I’m a woman.’”

  • DCDemocrat

    Hey, kitforhill: I took a break from daily kos, but I am back. I needed a breather. After posting continuously day in and day out for more than three years, I was getting short tempered with the Hillary detractors. I am ready for another go at them.

  • Paula

    I noticed Obama making a move in the Rasmussen tracking poll. I know there will be fluctuations, but I hope this isn’t a trend. (Yes, I’m a worry wort, lol.)

  • DCDemocrat

    Hi, Paula:

    The standard error is +/- four points. As a statistical matter, 35-28 is absolutely unchanged from 37-25. If something had happened in the news, like Clinton had swallowed her tongue in an epileptic fit, or Obama was filmed walking across Lake Michigan, the change might (possibly) be interesting, but it’s almost certainly nothing but statistical noise.

  • terrondt

    don’t worry about it paula. rasmussen stated before he started the tracking poll it might flux more frequently than traditional polls becuase of day to day polling results(200 interviews a night). by the way becuase admin did not post it yet a new foxnews national poll has hillary leading obama 39% to 22%. i know it’s foxnews but it’s a good reality check.

  • [...] Archives : Links : About : Webmaster : Confidential Tips : Thursday, Jul 19th – 3:02 pm « Oops, I Did It Again [...]

  • secretpolitics

    Paula,
    Fox news today says how when asked among Republicans to pick their favourite Republican candidate – 12% of them have selected Hillary Clinton! How exciting is that?