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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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Debate Tonight

Update #3:  Hillary the first presidential candidate to condemn today’s Supreme Court ruling rejecting school diversity plans that consider race.  This will be a major topic at tonight’s debate.  The debate is at Howard University, a predominately African-American college.  “On the eve of the 50th anniversary of the valiant struggle to integrate Little Rock Central High School, let us remember the millions who marched, fought and even paid the ultimate price to help ensure every child in America has an opportunity to attend diverse, high-quality schools.”  We are sure Obama will follow with a statement soon. 

Update #2:  ”Former New York City Mayor David Dinkins endorses Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination.”  ”I’m with Hillary Clinton,” said Dinkins. “You see, Dominic, if you go to the dance and you bring a girl to the dance and then you arrive at the dance and you see another girl who’s got charisma and she’s attractive and articulate and whatnot, you don’t leave the girl you brought, you stay with your friends; and Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton campaigned for me, and I will never forget it.”

Update:In a campaign season that’s been dominated so far by Iraq, the 90-minute session at Howard University, a predominantly black college in the nation’s capital, will focus on domestic issues, with emphasis on how they affect minority and poor communities. Eight candidates will share the stage, but the spotlight will focus most on the two Democratic front-runners, Sens. Hillary Clinton of New York and Barack Obama of Illinois.”
——————-

Our 2008 Primary Calendar page features as a bonus the schedule of debates calendar.  There is a Democratic primary debate tonight hosted by PBS.  The debate starts at 8:00  9:00 p.m. EDT. 

We will probably post comments about the debate while the debate is on tonight.  We will debunk attacks on Hillary here on the website, as it happens.  Join us and feel free to comment on the proceedings as well. 

A group of young professionals organizing support for Hillary will host a “watch party” in Washington, D.C.  The group, Young Lawyers for Hillary invites you to join with like minded Democrats to cheer on the next president as she debates other candidates for the nomination.  All are invited. 

The debate watch party will be at Stetson’s on Thursday, June 28th.  The group will celebrate the launch of their new website as well (www.younglawyersforhillary.com).  

Stetson’s Bar and Grill is located at 1610 U Street NW (16th and U).  The event is from 8:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. 

Let’s all watch and cheer on Senator Hillary Clinton.  She has demonstrated her excellence on all the previous debates.  Won them flat out. 

 Expect lots of attacks on Hillary tonight.  This is one of the few chances for her faltering opponents to make news and keep their campaigns afloat so they will take advantage of the opportunity. 
 

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13 comments to Debate Tonight

  • Forgive my ignorance , but where is Hillary live?

  • admin

    Badly worded. Corrected. We will be “live blogging” about the debate, as it happens, here on the website. Join in.

  • Thanks. I’ll be here.

  • Gorto

    Is there anywhere this debate will be streamed online as the two other debates have?

  • admin

    We found this on the PBS link we posted: “The PBS Democratic Forum will be simultaneously webcast on PBS.org, and video of both events will be archived for download and viewing on the Web site.”

  • Mrs. Smith

    Great, thanks for making his doable for all.

    We appreciate the trouble!

    Mrs.S

  • AmericanGal

    Thanks for the info. It appears that not every PBS station will be carrying the event so it’s really helpful that it can be watched online. I also appreciate your page with the list of upcoming debates.

  • Gorto

    Thanks so much!!

  • Berkeley Vox

    Thanks for the info. There’s a small typo in the article: it should be “Howard University,” not “Howards.” Love the site — keep the posts coming! :)

  • admin

    There was a strikethrough on the “s” at the end of Howard. It was not noticeable, so now the “s” has been removed completely. Thanks for the proofreading. Typos = bad.

    “You’re welcome” to all and thanks for the messages.

    Too bad Media Matters was not successful in getting Frank Luntz removed from post debate analysis.

    Good thoughts for Hillary as she once again enters the lion’s den.

  • Mrs. Smith

    Our girl never disappoints us. She was her usual stellar self, again tonight.

    Madam President, you make us proud.

    Mrs. S

  • wbboei

    Earlier in the week Senator Obama claimed Hillary could not step into the Presidency and take charge immediately. Most people would disagree with that statement including Warren Buffet. But what better refutation could there possibly be than tonight’s debate. Once again, Hillary demonstated a detailed knowledge of every issue, gave crisp and informative answers, and sounded like a leader telling team members how she wanted the particular problem to be approached. In the process she proved to any objective observer that she is fully prepared to step into the job immediately, and provide positive direction for the people of this country and the rest of the world.

  • admin

    Bloomberg also thinks Obama is not ready, according to Politico.