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The Funnies

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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky and...no, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

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Rock Steady

One of the most reliable indicators of a modern successful campaign is the ability of the campaign to communicate its message. The communication of the message should be consistent and repeated over and over and over again.

First the campaign must craft a message. That message should be short and to the point. A good rule of thumb for the length of a successful message is 4 words or less. A campaign that cannot explain why voters should consent to vote for its candidate in a four word concise message is bound to encounter difficulty.

For instance, probably the greatest or one of the greatest American presidents, was Franklin Delano Roosevelt. His most memorable campaign message (1932) was short and concise: “A New Deal”. Not only was this a very concise message that all Americans understood, it also was a clever contrast to what came before (Ripublicans) and the unfair deal Americans were being dealt. FDR ran for president in the shadow of the great depression. Unemployment had soared to 25%, jobs were lost as the manufacturing sector collapsed, agriculture collapsed, and the raw materials market also collapsed. The results of all this economic turmoil was an unhappy electorate. FDR with the 3 simple words of “A New Deal” summarized why he was running for president and why Americans should vote for him, as well as drawing a very pointed reminder of what the Ripublicans and their policies had wrought.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy in 1960 was equally sly. His message was concise and pointed as well. His inspirational message was “The New Frontier”. This 3 word message summarized the hopes that the young future president held for just about every facet of American life. Outer space, national security, civil rights, foreign policy, the economy – all were on the threshold of a new and exciting frontier. That this soon to be very young president was replacing Eisenhower, up to then the oldest American president, was slyly referenced by the 3 word message.

Richard Nixon was disliked and distrusted when he ran, yet again, for president in 1968. The unpopular “Tricky Dick” simply ran as a “New Nixon” and ran a contrast campaign against Hubert Humphrey with “Nixon’s The One”. Nixon manufactured popularity from unpopularity. Perhaps he was doing a variation of the slogan of the president he served under, Eisenhower. Eisenhower, who had led the great armies to victory over the axis powers had as his slogan the simple and effective “I Like Ike”.

Ronald Reagan was “Morning In America”, Truman “Give ‘em Hell, Harry!”, and long ago James K. Polk ran on the aggressive “54-40 Or Fight” (probably the only slogan ever to reference a latitude).

The John Kerry campaign, by contrast, at the 2004 convention distributed signs with the message “Hope Is On The Way”. However, oftentimes the candidates on the campaign trail would change it to “Help Is On The Way”. There was not much consistency in message. At least the message did convey the idea of the disaster that was the Bush II administration.

The amazing Bill Clinton campaign of 1992 employed the very effective “Putting People First” as its message. This message like all good messages provided the American people with a concise idea of what hope filled Bill Clinton wanted to do if elected. It also, slyly, referenced President George H. W. Bush’s policies which did not – put people first.

On June 20, 2007 Politico intelligently noted that the Hillary Clinton Campaign had unveiled a new sign. The message on that sign is simple. It is concise. It is contrastive. It is effective. And it is short: 1 word.

The Message In One Word

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2 comments to Rock Steady

  • sandy1938

    Finally, there is a thread of sanity in the blogosphere!!! I just discovered this site, and I must commend whoever is the author of most of these articles for their brilliant writing style!!!!!

    My favorite so far…

    “We intend to vote for the Democratic nominee…whoever SHE is”

    I have always been a fan of Hillary Clinton’s. I actually stopped supporting her for two weeks in March, because one of the NUTROOTS convinced me I was throwing my vote away by supporting her!! It was enlightening to read that as it turns out, this was coming from an expert on throwing his vote away (a NADERITE). LOL

    Hillary is the only candidate that I can trust to keep America safe in these troubling times. She is indeed READY and able to step into the job as President.

    One GREAT thing about Hillary, is that I dont get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when she appears on TV or is grilled by the media, like I used to do whenever John Kerry appeared on TV or at a debate. I dont have to beg the to the universe “Please answer this right”. I just trust that she is prepared and can answer any questions (or even self-gratuitous mud) that any “jounalist” slings her way!!!

    This is a candidate who will not be “SWIFBOATED”.

    America is READY for Hillary!!!! And thanks again for this wonderful website!!!!!

  • Gorto

    You summed it up neatly, thanks, now I don’t have to write all that, except for the part of not supporting her for two weeks.

    I’ve been a a fan of hers for years!!!!! Finally the time is here when she IS running for President. Godspeed Hill Dog!!

    However fast we want the day to be here when she is ELECTED, I don’t want it too fast, I am enjoying this exciting proses, especially since she is doing so well. I love the debates and her flawless performances as well.